The long walk….. from anger to happiness

Anger is a futile emotion. It does nothing for you, just burns your heart and makes you cry for revenge. All those endless hours of plotting and saying the right things that should have been said. All the pent-up emotion an a seething rage which is more often than not impotent. Impotent  because nothing can be done be about it, if anything could have, you wouldn’t be angry in the first place. Anger is a result of events that have culminated with an end which make no sense to you. It may have brought satisfactory end to someone else but not the one who is angry. Continue reading “The long walk….. from anger to happiness”

Advertisements

If I were 22…………….

It does no good to a woman to own up her age 🙂 but lets say i am not 22 and a decade has passed since i was….. then what have i learnt in these 10 years. What would i do right if i were 22 once again…

1. I would learn to not live in the past: Past is a mirage, the images and dreams associated with your past do you no good. Be nostalgic but don’t make nostalgia a habit. All of us would like to go back to high school… it was a time of hope and dreams… but high school has gone by, the shit happening to you today is life. Live it.

2.I would learn from my mistakes but will not keep on blaming myself for it: Everyone makes mistakes. they are the bedrock of our existence. A learning. Take them as learning and not as your failures. For every mistake you have made, make yourself a promise, never again…. but then, forgive yourself. It happens…. and it is called life

3. I will learn to love myself first: Its not selfish, it is the most basic survival technique. people will never be happy with you, you be happy with yourself and let others be damned!!! This learning has come at a great cost. If I berate myself, I give an opportunity to others to do the same to me…. So I learned to love myself, with all my shortcomings and my faults I think I am unique, and I rejoice in my uniqueness….

4. I will learn not to regret: Life is too short to keep on dreaming about “If” scenarios: Let’s admit it, we all keep on thinking, if i would have paid more attention to myself when I wouldn’t be like this today…. if so and so thing happened i would have all the happiness in world…. the “IF” didn’t happen. “THIS” is what you have. make the most of it… Life is unpredictable, the next moment might be our last…

5. Be consistent in your work commitments: I did not think before leaving perfectly good jobs for no reason, this pains me to no extent till date. It has led me to despair. Remain consistent with the first of your commitments and it generally pays off… It will never be easy as there are always adverse situations, bad boss, mad colleagues, shitty job profile, life is never perfect but you need to pull through the dirt to harvest good returns. The first job is generally the most difficult one…..Have patience and give it time, it will get better.

these are a few of my ideas, let me know what you think about it….

Perceptions

I love surprises. small ones, big ones. they just make my day.

When I was younger I used  create these surprises for myself. I would never ask my mother what she had packed for lunch in school. the moment when I opened my lunch box was my own, filled with anticipation and excitement. My own daily dosage of surprise. The sheer joy that such a small action could give is unparalleled to many big things in my life. Those were some pure unadulterated moments of being happy. I still do it…. I save the best for last and am feel happy to “open”or “reveal” my surprises at the end.

I have noticed as children we used to simplify things, if the opportunities were not there we would create them, not whine about them. if surprise were not possible everyday, make your own surprise. We were not dependent on anyone for our happiness…………. As we grow up we forget to create such opportunities of happiness for ourselves,we forget that it is better to simplify things and be happy about them rather than being in your own complex mind web and depending on others to remain happy.

We spend our whole life in the fear of perceptions. We are busy in trying to project ourselves as someone we think we are. Most of our life is spent proving the same to ourselves and others around us. Sometimes I feel that I am not the person I think I am or the people around me see as “me”. Now at this juncture, when I am not too old and not too young, not too naive and yet not too wise, I would first like to stop for a minute and try to figure out who really I am.  Is the person I think I am, only in my head? I guess, parts of me only exists in my head. And this is true for most of us.

Also, perception of an individual also varies from person to person. for some I may be a very sincere, honest and trustworthy person; and someone else may find me the biggest snob around them. It all really is in our head.

Have we forget who we are and what we really want from our life.

 

Austen and me

I am a self proclaimed Jane Austen lover. I got hooked to the seemingly idealist romances written by Austen at a very young age, thanks to my mother, herself an avid reader. I would like to believe that I am an Austen purist. I have devoured hundreds of literature discussing the nuances of her writing. I have seen various movies adapted and inspired from her work and still my thirst for her stories remain unquenched. It always seems that she has so much more to say and we as audience so much more to listen or read through. Its never enough. She is the romance queen after all. I doubt there has been another writer who inspired so much of longingness for a Victorian era England and perfect romances, elsewhere.

The time period that she lived in was fraught with social issues. There were so many changes going on in the society and none of these were mirrored or expressed overtly in the novel of Jane Austen . The beauty of her novels, her writing was, I guess, the way she portrayed and understood basic human emotions. Emotions and needs like the need to be recognised, the need to be respected, the need to understand and be understood in return, and in addition to the all encompassing need to be loved. What Austen succeeded in doing was capturing human emotions that have remain unchanged in the ever changing social fabric. they remain unchanged through continents, generations, time and race. That is where people identify with her, they love her and they adore her. that is why she remains timeless.

Whether it is famous Mr. Darcy’s pride or Mr. Elton’s stupidity and vanity or for that matter Anne Elliott’s stoic acceptance of life as it passed her by, they all carry an easy familiarity, that we, as humans, generally relate to. We have all met people who have similar characteristics. She through her portrayal of such sentiments and her idealism gives hope that humanity still lives and will be there forever.

I salute you austen. You shall always be my ultimate heroine.