The long walk….. from anger to happiness

Anger is a futile emotion. It does nothing for you, just burns your heart and makes you cry for revenge. All those endless hours of plotting and saying the right things that should have been said. All the pent-up emotion an a seething rage which is more often than not impotent. Impotent  because nothing can be done be about it, if anything could have, you wouldn’t be angry in the first place. Anger is a result of events that have culminated with an end which make no sense to you. It may have brought satisfactory end to someone else but not the one who is angry. Continue reading “The long walk….. from anger to happiness”

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If I were 22…………….

It does no good to a woman to own up her age 🙂 but lets say i am not 22 and a decade has passed since i was….. then what have i learnt in these 10 years. What would i do right if i were 22 once again…

1. I would learn to not live in the past: Past is a mirage, the images and dreams associated with your past do you no good. Be nostalgic but don’t make nostalgia a habit. All of us would like to go back to high school… it was a time of hope and dreams… but high school has gone by, the shit happening to you today is life. Live it.

2.I would learn from my mistakes but will not keep on blaming myself for it: Everyone makes mistakes. they are the bedrock of our existence. A learning. Take them as learning and not as your failures. For every mistake you have made, make yourself a promise, never again…. but then, forgive yourself. It happens…. and it is called life

3. I will learn to love myself first: Its not selfish, it is the most basic survival technique. people will never be happy with you, you be happy with yourself and let others be damned!!! This learning has come at a great cost. If I berate myself, I give an opportunity to others to do the same to me…. So I learned to love myself, with all my shortcomings and my faults I think I am unique, and I rejoice in my uniqueness….

4. I will learn not to regret: Life is too short to keep on dreaming about “If” scenarios: Let’s admit it, we all keep on thinking, if i would have paid more attention to myself when I wouldn’t be like this today…. if so and so thing happened i would have all the happiness in world…. the “IF” didn’t happen. “THIS” is what you have. make the most of it… Life is unpredictable, the next moment might be our last…

5. Be consistent in your work commitments: I did not think before leaving perfectly good jobs for no reason, this pains me to no extent till date. It has led me to despair. Remain consistent with the first of your commitments and it generally pays off… It will never be easy as there are always adverse situations, bad boss, mad colleagues, shitty job profile, life is never perfect but you need to pull through the dirt to harvest good returns. The first job is generally the most difficult one…..Have patience and give it time, it will get better.

these are a few of my ideas, let me know what you think about it….

Perceptions

I love surprises. small ones, big ones. they just make my day.

When I was younger I used  create these surprises for myself. I would never ask my mother what she had packed for lunch in school. the moment when I opened my lunch box was my own, filled with anticipation and excitement. My own daily dosage of surprise. The sheer joy that such a small action could give is unparalleled to many big things in my life. Those were some pure unadulterated moments of being happy. I still do it…. I save the best for last and am feel happy to “open”or “reveal” my surprises at the end.

I have noticed as children we used to simplify things, if the opportunities were not there we would create them, not whine about them. if surprise were not possible everyday, make your own surprise. We were not dependent on anyone for our happiness…………. As we grow up we forget to create such opportunities of happiness for ourselves,we forget that it is better to simplify things and be happy about them rather than being in your own complex mind web and depending on others to remain happy.

We spend our whole life in the fear of perceptions. We are busy in trying to project ourselves as someone we think we are. Most of our life is spent proving the same to ourselves and others around us. Sometimes I feel that I am not the person I think I am or the people around me see as “me”. Now at this juncture, when I am not too old and not too young, not too naive and yet not too wise, I would first like to stop for a minute and try to figure out who really I am.  Is the person I think I am, only in my head? I guess, parts of me only exists in my head. And this is true for most of us.

Also, perception of an individual also varies from person to person. for some I may be a very sincere, honest and trustworthy person; and someone else may find me the biggest snob around them. It all really is in our head.

Have we forget who we are and what we really want from our life.

 

Writing again

Day after day, I sit infront of my computer, thinking of writing something. But what I worry about the most is, writing something sensible.

Well, I guess its safe to say, if you wait to say something sensible or wait to say anything at all, words will fail you. When writing or trying to express yourself, its bet to be guided by instinct, as I have been for most of my life. The moment I stopped being instinctive and intuitive, words stopped being my friend.

I am feeling free after a long time, I am able to write, to formulate ideas. It’s amazing to see what boycotting TV only for a couple of days can do to your intellect and imagination. I am swearing off the idiot box forever… or lets say I will try to swear off it forever ;).

The freedom of expression has often been hailed as the cornerstone of civil liberties and to think that it is robbed by a mere television might be over thinking on my part.But that is not what I mean. Television, in itself is one of the most celebrated and greatest discoveries of our time. it has made the world seem smaller, it has made a lot of things within reach, it has facilitated dreams and it has allowed people to  see things that they never would have imagined to see. where I have a problem from this amazing thing is that it has also turned the major population into couch potatoes.We watch television not to entertain ourselves but to merely pass time. We watch it because we have nothing better to do.Some people may argue that this is a very old problem and the newer one plaguing our society at large is that television has now been replaced by smart phones. I agree. I think as our gadgets are becoming smarter our minds are becoming stupid. I remember those idyllic days when I could recall the numbers of all my friends and family without ever having to look at my phone. I could answer simplest of questions without ever having to google it. I miss those simple times. With so much of knowledge that has been made available to us we actually seem more reluctant to absorb it or understand it, let alone to avail the opportunity handed over to us on a platter.

I realised that I was losing my power to think, to formulate and most of all my power to express my thoughts, a quality for which I took pride in myself. I wanted to regain it. I also realised that most of my time was wasted in watching mindless television. something for which earlier I never had the time. now that the time was readily available I did not use it. and suddenly it dawned on me that I always wanted to do so many things with my life and I had never been able to make time for it. Now i did have the time but I wasted it staring at my stupid phone and television.

I am not saying we should not utilise the technology and watch those awesome shows, all i m saying is that we should not lose our creativity in the process

it may seem that i am rambling on and on bout nothing in general but that is what i have wanted to do for the longest time… ramble on. So here I am, ready to make a fool of myself and write what I please and how I please.